We coax love to endorse our personal preferences for a romantic partner, sexual exploits, or who we French kiss. Rubbing, touching, caressing, kissing, sucking, biting, and, of course, intercourse, as fulfillments of a desire for physical contact, are all sexual activities in this sense. To get a handle on an answer to this question you might consider what I have had to say in my blog on How good are you at making love? Indeed some would prefer to just have sex. But sometimes one may also want a tall, cold one. It leaves us to hold our own hand, to have hot sex or not , and to turn its momentary inspiration into the soft, heart-warming embers of long-term relationship—if we dare. Each axiom is essential to the system and cannot be understood apart from it; but the system itself is over and above and distinct from any of its axioms. However, the mutuality of love-making as depicted here guards again domination, for the goal is not to control the other but instead to lose oneself in the other as the other in oneself. In contrast, compare the dis-unifying, objectifying nature of the four-letter language of just having sex. They can be ineffable and unspoken; simply expressed; or set into poetic verse. We notice its visits when we are present, but not when we are too busy trying to love, orgasm, or connect. And if not, how can you get it? According to philosopher Alan Goldman, sexual desire is desire for contact with another person's body and for the pleasure which such contact produces; sexual activity is activity which tends to fulfill such desire of the agent. This is not to proclaim the moral , or prudential, superiority of making love. But this, in turn, requires pinning down the meanings of each. If you attempt to have sex without such faith, then you will only have sex.