Alternatively, if you were asked to test drive the latest model from Lamborghini, would you say yes? Description Edit Though she may have gorgeous lips and supple breasts, Angelina Jolie is downright unappealing when compared even to a Windows computer "It's the most glorious experience anyone could ever have," says Micheal Lubricant, who has engaged in sexual intercourse with a world record 50 computers, "After experiencing an orgasm while simultaneously being electrocuted, you'll never want to even look at a woman again. I mean, I'm sure this method would work fine on a bookcase or a TV even, but computers are too dirty to be aroused by this generic stuff. This method always arouses a computer, making it an extreme last resort for those who tried all other methods and failed. The tremendous amount of hardcore sexual material stored within a computer is just one of the many things that makes it much harder to arouse than, say, a toothpaste tube or a light switch. Leave our robots alone! Most people go through their entire lives without experiencing this sensation, but those who do very seldom go back to having sex with people. Most computers actually find this kind of gratuitous violence sexually arousing. Edit An example of the type of frustration you will face while trying to turn a computer on. If the computer in question is a Catholic, as the majority of IBM machines are, they will refuse to use any form of protection, and thus having sex with this model of computer is extremely risky. Yes, the blow up doll, the butt of many a bar-room joke, has been around in one seedy form or another for many years, but is a rubber doll a robot? In one instance, an incredibly attractive woman gave her computer a lapdance for an entire month, and at the end of the one-month lapdance she got no reward other than an error message saying "this computer is not responding. Micheal Lubricant reportedly has an illegitimate daughter with a computer screen for a face. It is extremely difficult to coax a computer into appearing in a porn video, because they have very high self-esteem. Falling in love with your robot As weird as it sounds, we develop a special relationship with the machines in our lives, be they cars, tablets, mobile phones or computers.