So maybe you might say to her, "Baby, I love that pair of underwear you were wearing the other day. Tell your partner if you like what they're doing, or how they could improve the experience for you. This slow and light touch works, even a contrasted touch — let's say you use a strong pressure, a firm grip, and then you go to really soft. Then of course, the sexual-pleasure frame, by giving her pleasure, this gives her permission, full permission, to turn off her mind. It's like the opposite of getting in bed and holding your breath and going, "OK, we're going to have sex. Use the soft touch we were talking about before, the lightest, lightest, feather touch ever. I mean, role-playing is endless, endless, endless. Embrace each other and breathe fully together. Use massage oil or essential oils, or edible massage creams, lotions or powder to help you get your partner in the mood. So the sexual-pleasure frame is essential in relationships and couples. Getty Breathing together is a great way to get with your partner. If you really want a personal set of recommendations, you'll need to make an appointment with tantric consultant for what it's worth, Aza offers sessions in person and via Skype.